5 Ways to Control Your Tongue

We all have these moments where we wish we could take back something that we said to someone. Whether it’s a backhanded compliment or just unnecessary negativity, most of us have at least one regret like this floating around in our heads. 

In order to help you avoid future regrets, here are 5 ways to control your tongue so you can always say the right thing when it matters most.

1) Don’t say something you’ll regret

We all do it – say something we don’t mean, or worse yet, something that can damage a relationship. It’s easy to get frustrated and lose your cool – but that doesn’t give you license to say anything you want when you want. 

5 Ways to Control Your Tongue Know what will and won’t motivate others and avoid causing irreparable damage by making sure you communicate with tact and understanding. If there are things better left unsaid, keep them in your head! You should be able to walk away from an argument feeling as though both parties were heard; if someone feels attacked or belittled during an exchange, chances are good they won’t listen as well afterward.

2) Practice awareness of what you are saying

Be mindful of how you use your tongue. If you’re sensitive or don’t have much self-control, monitor what you say around people you care about, and if needed, apologize for any hurtful words that slip out. Think before you speak, as well; it’s often better to be quiet than to speak without thinking. Lastly, try a more motivational approach: 

Remind yourself that while there may be some truth in what you are saying, do not let negative speech take over your life and steal your joy. Instead of speaking negative words in response to others' actions or words—words that might still sting even if they're spoken only in your head—try coming up with something positive instead.

3) Use positive words when talking to yourself

We all talk to ourselves—about once every 10 seconds, according to research. While it might seem negative (and downright scary) for your inner voice to be constantly criticizing you or talking about how unhappy you are, researchers have found that positive self-talk can have a huge impact on your motivation and productivity. 

When you start thinking about yourself in a more positive light and using positive words when talking with yourself, not only will you feel happier but you’ll also be better able to reach your goals. For example, if instead of telling yourself I’m never going to lose weight, try telling yourself I can lose weight or I’m doing everything I can right now.

4) Be self-aware when you talk

When you talk to other people, try and be aware of what you’re saying. Being conscious of your words will help keep your mouth in check so that you don’t end up saying something mean or hurtful, or that has a negative effect on someone else’s life. For example, do you typically say things like you should have done that differently or what a mistake!? 

If so, your criticism might cause others to question their own abilities or efforts in comparison. Instead of using words like those, think about ways you can encourage others instead—for example, by pointing out alternative solutions to challenges they face rather than just singling out mistakes they made. We all make mistakes; everyone is human after all.

5) Understand what triggers you

5 Ways to Control Your Tongue is understanding what triggers you. For some people, it’s simple: If someone speaks to them in a tone that could be construed as condescending, for example, they’re more likely to lash out. Other people are triggered by being rushed or feeling guilty about something. 

Knowing what ticks you off (and why) will help you avoid those situations and better control your emotions when they arise. Don’t be afraid of your feelings; simply understand how they work and how best to deal with them when they come up. What words do you overuse? Do any actions make you angry? Be aware of both so that you can take steps toward self-improvement—and learn self-control in those areas.

Conclusion

The tongue is a powerful thing, so use your words wisely. If you need help in that department, just remember these few tips: Avoid gossip; read something inspirational every day; and set an example of what you expect of others. 

Be honest with yourself about whether your words motivate or de-motivate, positively or negatively affect others. If they aren’t helping anyone else but yourself – then you probably need to work on 5 Ways to Control Your Tongue.